Pirate Sword Letter Opener

A guy walks into a drug store and puts a bunch of items in his cart, walks towards the door without paying, and is intercepted by store employees.  Instead of stopping, he abandons the cart, pulls out a knife, flashes it at the employees, and runs out the door with a few miscellaneous items.  This... Continue Reading →

Exiled from the Gym

I used to love working out during my lunch hour.  I felt like a disciplined, focused, ass-kicking professional.  I would walk into the gym, in my court clothes, and everyone would recognize me.  After showering, I would put my tie on in the locker room, as proud of my neckwear as I was of my... Continue Reading →

Next Time, Use A Knife

I recently tried a case in which a defendant really screwed himself over by using a gun.  He broke up with his girlfriend and confronted her when she brought another man to pick up her stuff from his house.  The boyfriend shot several times at the man, causing him serious injury.  Because he used a gun... Continue Reading →

Meet the Truth

When you’re nice to people, they give you attempted murder cases.  That’s what I found out when a more senior DA got transferred and specifically asked that a case be assigned to me.  Normally, someone with my experience level would not try an attempted murder.  It was her vote of confidence that let me cut... Continue Reading →

Herding Witnesses

We argued motions in the morning on the day my second felony was supposed to begin.  I had two witnesses, both cops, subpoenaed to be in court at 10, to start out the case.  My civilian witness was taking a bus from 300 miles away, and wouldn’t arrive until the afternoon session.  But I had... Continue Reading →

My First Felony

It was after dark in a small coastal town, and the sea fog was coming ashore off the ocean.  Just a few blocks from the water, a fight broke out between several men, and a neighbor called 911.  The police arrived a few minutes later, to find only one man left out on the street:... Continue Reading →

How Does Everyone Normally Do This?

The Defendant was an older man, in a slightly out of style suit, the kind that might be worn for church ten years ago.  He was barrel-waisted, at least 45 inches around, and wore a neatly trimmed mustache.  He scowled continually from behind his glasses, with one hand on his cheek, a single finger pointing... Continue Reading →

Step One: Throw a Fit. Step Two: Give Up

The Defendant just gave up halfway through my sixth trial.  It was a DUI with a refusal allegation.  It's a difficult misdemeanor because a lot of jurors want to have a chemical test to rely on when they are deliberating.  Without a chemical test, some don't feel comfortable convicting.  The police didn't see a lot... Continue Reading →

Twi Travails

Twi is an African dialect with 14 vowels that is spoken in West Africa.  There is only one Twi interpreter in the State of California and she was present to assist the Defendant in my fifth trial, a DUI involving a hit and run.  He claimed that he did not speak English, even though he was... Continue Reading →

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